Jim Rohn, a well-respected motivational speaker, first stated this ‘you are the average of the 5 people you most associate with.” This concept is derived from the Law of Averages which basically boils down to the fact that in any given situation the average of all of the potential outcomes will be the result. In other words, the five people who you spend the most time with will have the greatest impact on your life.
What kind of impact are we talking about?
Simply put, the 5 people who you spend the most time with have the ability to impact you emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, etc. They will determine how motivated you are, how positive you are, and how successful you are among other things. We as humans both project our beliefs/opinions/traits onto others and soak up all that we are surrounded by. We develop our way of thinking and belief system based on those around us (Have you ever wondered why pre-teens seem to have the same political views as their parents? This is why!)
So why does this matter?
This is powerful knowledge because when we accept that our top 5 people have a significant impact on our life, we can start to control the outcome. The first step of this is acknowledging the person you want to be. Do you have big dreams you want to accomplish or want to become more simplistic in your lifestyle? Figuring out the person we want to become allows us to start examining if the people around us are helping us achieve that vision. If you feel yourself becoming unmotivated at work or spending money more than you know you should, take a look at the people you are surrounding yourself with – are they helping you reach your goals or holding you back from achieving them?
Ok, so I should just drop anyone that isn’t super nice to me?
Not necessarily! One trait of highly successful people is the ability to take criticism. Now, we aren’t suggesting you let someone into your inner circle who only criticizes you but it is important to have at least one person who will be brutally honest. This is the person who will tell you when an idea isn’t going to work and who challenges you to become the best version of yourself. This person isn’t going to let you settle or praise work that they know isn’t your best.
Once I have my circle, I keep them forever right?
Nope! Your 5 people should constantly grow and change! You might have one or two who always seem to be in the ring but all five will not be consistently at the top of your list. If you feel you want to start focusing on yourself physically then try to add in a friend who you know is dedicated to fitness or the friend who happens to be a dietician. If you feel you need to focus on your financial goals, find someone who you know lives well on a budget or is really knowledgeable about the stock market. You will always be connected to more than 5 people, but the 5 people you spend the most time with or talk to the most will be the ones who are currently influencing aspects of your life!
So now what?
Take a minute and write down the five people who you spend the most time with whether in person, on the phone, or through social media. Now that you have your five people write three things/traits you really value about each person, particularly things/traits you wish you had (remember emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, financial, etc….if you cannot think of three things that might be a red flag!) Now that you have listed out the traits that you value in your 5 people, examine the list. Is there enough variety in the traits? Are these traits relevant to your goals or the person you want to become? Take a few minutes to think about how these individuals effect you. Once you’re finished, it’s up to you to decide whether you’re happy with how your 5 people influence your life or if you need to shake it up a bit to achieve your own goals!
Let us know how it went for you in the comment section below!